How to Raise a Good Child With Effective Parenting

Raising a good child is a life long endeavor. The arrival of a new baby is only the first chapter of a life story in a child's development. Developing effective parenting skills are essential in raising a good, confident, and independent child. Below are a few basic ideas that are intended only to scratch the surface of this important subject. A reliable source of more in-depth analysis and recommendations on effective parenting techniques are cited at the end of this article.
Look At Problems From The Child's Perspective As Well As Yours.
Try to rediscover the inner child within you - parents have to step inside their children's shoes. Try to remember what it was like to be a kid again; a process known as "rediscovering your inner child". Try to see things from your child's perspective, and in doing so, you will realize and understand how they're feeling and why they're rebelling. Effective parenting skills teach you how to listen to your child's needs. It is up to you stand to strong and deal with issues both from your perspective as the parent, and from their perspective as the child. In doing so, you will arrive at a solution to the issue at hand that will satisfy you both.
A Common Parenting Problem.
One common problem seen in children is their preoccupation with having the same material possessions as their friends. This is manifested in trying to keep up with fads like video games. Children do not realize most families have budgets and cannot afford to pay high prices for children's clothes, shoes and video games. Most Children don't take this into consideration, he/she wants to be just like the others, and often feels that if others have it, they should have it too. If this is the case, parents should teach children that there are boundaries to what they can have and everyone has to live within a budget. Helping children make the association between working and making money is useful in teaching them the value of money and that everyone must earn money to buy the things they desire. Doing chores around the house or helping neighbors is an effective way of teaching children the value of performing work for the things they desire. Parents should reward children for positive efforts in this area and help to foster the association between working and receiving the things they want.
Teach Your Kids Self-reliance.
By allowing your child to experience his/her, life to its fullest, on their terms, within safe boundaries, is the greatest gift you can give your child. Always remember to allow your child to earn things that they want and not give in too easily to their wants. A child's independence is an important part of growing up and you want to empower them to make their own choices. If you notice that you constantly giving in to your child's whims, it may be that you are avoiding tough choices yourself, in the name of "maintaining peace". Remember, you must be willing to deny your child certain things in order to teach them the principle of "earning" material things and privileges. This removes the natural tendency to expect things out of a sense of entitlement. It can also be helpful in establishing in the child a sense of the value of money.
Get More Compliance From Your Child.
To solve defiant behavior, you should not take the bait in a power struggle with your oppositional child. In order to gain more cooperation from your child, try to think in terms of identifying a negative pattern. A lot of children develop a pattern of negativity and some specific triggers can set a child off at any moment. Try to look for a trigger that results in your child's defiance and then attempt to alter that pattern so that your child will more cooperative. Breaking the pattern of behavior that sets up the defiant reaction is the key to addressing the problem.
Make Memories With Quality Family Time.
Creating positive memories of family time is essential to good character development in the child. The more positive associations the child has with the family unit, the better will be your chances of raising a confident, productive child. The following are a couple of ideas to consider around dinner time:
- Plan a simple dinner that is delicious and nutritious, but doesn't require stress while preparing. If you are stressed out just from preparing the meal, this stress will be transferred to your family. Make a nice meal, but avoid the stress!
- Foster positive and upbeat conversational topics at the table. Talking about negative topics in the news or anything that is unpleasant should not be done while dining with your family members. Talking about negative topics while eating is unhealthy physically and emotionally. It is of utmost importance that you discuss serious issues together with your children at certain times but, it is inappropriate to do this while dining together. Your goal is to produce long lasting good memories from these casual conversations over a family dinner and you want your family to look forward to spending more of these moments together. These happy memories will contribute to your child's long term character development and well being. In addition, the sense of belonging and mutual respect that is fostered by such quality family time will go a long way to producing better child behavior.
Mr. Roukema is the father of two teenage boys which he has raised along with his wife Susan. In addition, he has a BA in Psychology from the University of Colorado in Boulder and a Masters Degree in Finance and Business Management from Seton Hall University.
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